The Script That Started as a Blank Page
When I first got ordained, I thought writing a ceremony would be easy. I'd been to weddings; I knew what they sounded like. But when I sat down to write my first script — for two non-binary friends — I froze. Every template I found online started with "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman." That wasn't their story. That wasn't any of our stories. So I closed the templates and started from scratch. What emerged was a ceremony that felt like a conversation, not a performance. And I've been writing scripts that way ever since. A wedding script is not a legal document. It's an invitation — to the couple, to the guests, to the moment itself. It should make everyone in the room feel welcome and seen. This guide is what I've learned from officiating nine weddings and helping dozens of couples write their own ceremonies. These are three complete scripts you can use as-is or adapt to fit your love. Each one is fully inclusive, with no gendered assumptions. Pick the one that feels most like you, and make it yours. Because the best ceremony is the one that sounds like it was written just for you — because it was.
Why You Should Trust Me
I'm Alex Rivera. My pronouns are they/them. I'm a certified wedding officiant, and I've officiated nine LGBTQ+ weddings — for two brides, two grooms, non-binary couples, and everyone in between. I also wrote the ceremony for my own desert elopement with my partner Robin, and it made six people cry (including me). I've learned what works in a ceremony and what falls flat. I've learned that the best scripts are specific, inclusive, and deeply personal. And I've learned that a good officiant is not a performer — they're a guide who helps the couple feel seen. This guide is my gift to you. If you're writing a ceremony or working with an officiant, these scripts will give you a strong foundation. And if you need more guidance, read our guide to choosing a gay wedding officiant.
The Invitation Concept: A Script Is Not a Cage
Here's the core idea behind every script I write: a ceremony script is an invitation, not a cage. It invites the couple to step into their commitment. It invites the guests to witness and support. It invites the moment to unfold naturally. Too many couples treat a script as a rigid set of words they must follow exactly. But the best ceremonies breathe. They have room for laughter, for tears, for unexpected moments. So when you use the scripts below, don't read them word-for-word like a robot. Read them once, understand the rhythm, and then let your own voice and your own love fill in the spaces. That's the invitation. And that's what makes a ceremony feel alive. For more on the philosophy of inclusive ceremonies, read our ceremony wording guide.
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Script One: The Warm and Simple Ceremony
This is the ceremony I use most often. It's warm, straightforward, and appropriate for any couple. It's about fifteen minutes long.
Welcome
"Welcome, everyone. We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of [Name] and [Name]. They have invited you here because you matter to them, and because they want to make a promise in front of the people they love. There are no sides to sit on, no one to be given away. Just two people, choosing each other, and all of us here to support them."
The Story
"[Name] and [Name] met [how they met]. From that first moment, they knew [something they knew]. Today, they stand here to say that the love they've built is worth promising forever."
The Vows (the couple may repeat after the officiant, or read their own)
"I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my partner in life. I promise to love you as you are, to respect your identity and your pronouns, and to build a home where we both belong. I will be your soft place and your steady ground, for all the days of our lives."
The Ring Exchange
"This ring is a circle, and so is my love for you. It has no beginning and no end. With this ring, I promise to keep choosing you, every day, for the rest of our lives."
The Pronouncement
"[Name] and [Name], you have promised each other your love, your respect, and your future. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss."
That's the entire ceremony. It's simple, warm, and completely inclusive. You can add readings, music, or a unity ritual to make it longer. For more on unity rituals, read our unity ceremony guide.
Script Two: The Poetic and Reflective Ceremony
This ceremony is a bit longer and more lyrical. It's perfect for couples who love language and want the ceremony to feel like a poem.
Welcome
"Welcome, friends and family. We are here in this beautiful place to celebrate a love that has grown quietly and deeply. [Name] and [Name] have chosen to join their lives together, not because they complete each other, but because they see each other fully, and they choose to walk forward hand in hand."
A Reading (choose a poem or passage that reflects the couple; see our readings guide for suggestions)
"[Reader] will now share a reading chosen by the couple."
The Vows (the couple reads their own, or repeats after the officiant)
"[Name], I love you not in spite of who you are, but because of who you are. I promise to be your home, your refuge, and your joy. I promise to laugh with you, to cry with you, and to never stop learning who you are becoming. I choose you today, and I will choose you every day after."
The Ring Exchange
"These rings are symbols of your love — unbroken, unending. As you place them on each other's fingers, remember that your love is a circle, always returning to the place where you began: with each other."
The Pronouncement
"By the power vested in me, and by the love that surrounds you both, I now pronounce you married. You may seal your vows with a kiss."
This script has a more poetic rhythm. It works beautifully with live music or a sunset backdrop. Feel free to swap in your own readings or add a unity ritual. For more on structuring a poetic ceremony, read our ceremony outline guide.
Script Three: The Playful and Personal Ceremony
This is for couples who want their ceremony to feel like them — funny, a little irreverent, and full of inside jokes. It's the one I used for my own elopement.
Welcome
"Hello, everyone! We're here because [Name] and [Name] have decided to make it official. They've been practicing for this moment for years — through road trips, terrible cooking experiments, and at least one argument about whose turn it was to kill the spider. And here they are, still in love, still laughing. That's a good sign."
The Story
"[Name] and [Name] first met [story]. It wasn't love at first sight. It was more like, 'Oh, this person is interesting.' And then interesting became important, and important became home. Today, they're making that home official."
The Vows (the couple reads their own)
"[Name], I promise to always kill the spiders, even though we're both scared of them. I promise to learn your family's recipes, even if I burn them the first three times. And I promise to never pretend to like hiking, because we both know I don't. I love you. I choose you. And I'd rather do nothing with you than everything with anyone else."
The Ring Exchange
"This ring is a circle, which is fitting, because your love keeps coming back around to the same truth: you two are ridiculous, and you're perfect for each other. With this ring, I promise to keep being ridiculous with you."
The Pronouncement
"Alright, you two. By the power vested in me, and by the fact that you've already shared a Netflix password, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss, and then you may eat cake."
This script is playful and deeply personal. The key is to fill in the blanks with your own inside jokes and stories. For help writing your own vows, read our vow writing guide. And if you want a completely non-binary specific script, check out our gender-inclusive wording guide.
How to Adapt These Scripts for Your Own Ceremony
These scripts are starting points, not rules. Here's how to make them yours:
- Replace names and details. This is obvious, but make sure every reference is specific to you and your partner. The more personal, the better.
- Add or remove sections. If you want a reading, add one. If you want to skip the story section, skip it. The ceremony should fit your love, not the other way around.
- Choose your own pronouns. All three scripts use gender-neutral language, but you can swap in "wife" or "husband" if those words feel right for you. The key is that the language reflects your relationship. For more on pronoun choices, read our terminology guide.
- Let your officiant make it their own. A good officiant will deliver the script in their own voice, not just read it word-for-word. Discuss the tone with them in advance. For help choosing an officiant, read our choosing guide.
Mistakes to Avoid When Using a Script
- 🚩 Using a script with "bride and groom" and just crossing out the words. That's not adaptation; that's erasure. Start with an inclusive script and add your own details. Your ceremony should feel built for you, not retrofitted.
- 🚩 Making the ceremony too long. Guests start to fidget after about twenty minutes. Keep it concise and meaningful. A shorter ceremony with powerful moments is better than a long one that drags.
- 🚩 Forgetting to practice out loud. Read the whole ceremony aloud at least once before the wedding. You'll catch awkward phrasing and timing issues. Practice with your officiant if possible.
Your Script Pre-Wedding Checklist
- ☑ The script uses inclusive language throughout
- ☑ Your names and pronouns are correct in every section
- ☑ The script reflects your relationship, not a generic template
- ☑ You've practiced reading it aloud at least once
- ☑ Your officiant is comfortable with the script and their role
- ☑ The ceremony length feels right (under 20 minutes)
- ☑ You're genuinely excited to hear these words on your wedding day
If all seven are checked, your script is ready. If not, go back and adjust. The ceremony is the heart of your wedding day. It should feel like a true reflection of your love. For more on the overall ceremony, read our full ceremony guide.
Who This Guide Is NOT For
If you're having a strictly religious ceremony with set liturgy, these secular scripts may not be appropriate. But many progressive faith leaders are happy to adapt them or incorporate inclusive language. Talk to your officiant. Also, if you're eloping with just the two of you and a witness, a full script might feel like more than you need — you can simply exchange vows and rings. But if you want a ceremony that feels complete and inclusive, these scripts are a wonderful foundation. They're flexible, warm, and ready for your personal touch.
The Only Script Rule That Matters
After officiating nine weddings and writing countless scripts, the only rule that holds up is: if the words make you feel seen, they're the right words. It doesn't matter if they're poetic or plain, long or short. What matters is that when you hear them, you think, "Yes. That's us." So start with one of these scripts, make it yours, and then let the ceremony be the beginning of your married life. You've earned this moment. Now go claim it.
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FAQ: Gay Wedding Officiant Scripts and Examples
Can I use these scripts for a non-binary couple?
Absolutely. All three scripts are written to be gender-neutral. Use the couple's names and pronouns throughout, and avoid any gendered terms. The key is to make the language reflect the couple's actual identities. For more on non-binary inclusive language, read our terminology guide.
How long should an officiant script be?
Most ceremonies last 10-20 minutes. That's long enough to feel meaningful, short enough to keep guests engaged. The scripts in this guide range from about 500 to 800 words, which translates to 10-15 minutes when spoken. If you add readings or a unity ritual, factor in extra time. For more on ceremony structure, read our outline guide.
Should the couple write their own vows or use the script's vows?
Both are beautiful options. Some couples love the intimacy of writing their own vows. Others prefer to repeat after the officiant, especially if they're nervous about public speaking. You can also mix and match — repeat the traditional vows, then add a personal note of your own. The key is to choose what feels right for you. For help writing vows, read vows for two brides or vows for two grooms.
Can I add cultural traditions to these scripts?
Yes, and I encourage it. Many couples blend cultural rituals with inclusive language. For example, you might add a Korean paebaek after the vows, or a Mexican lasso ritual before the pronouncement. Talk to your officiant about how to incorporate these elements seamlessly. For more on cultural blending, read our multicultural guide.
What if my officiant wants to use their own script instead?
That's fine, as long as their script is inclusive and reflects your relationship. Many officiants have their own style, and that can be a good thing. But make sure you review the script in advance and confirm that it uses your pronouns and respects your identity. If you're uncomfortable with any part, ask them to change it. A good officiant will be happy to adapt. For more on working with officiants, read our question guide.
Where to Go From Here
Now that you have your script, your next step is to find an officiant who will deliver it beautifully or find other inclusive vendors. I've also written a guide to unity ceremony ideas that pairs perfectly with these scripts.
And if you want to see the actual scripts from my own elopement and the weddings I've officiated, including my handwritten notes and crossed-out lines, I've saved them in our research archive. Read the raw scripts here.