Okay So Here's Where I Messed Up
I'm June. My wedding to Maya is in spring 2027, and for weeks I thought I knew what I'd wear. A white dress, obviously. That's what brides wear, right? But then I started actually looking at wedding dresses, and I realized I didn't feel like a "bride" in the way the bridal industry seemed to expect. The dresses were beautiful, but they all felt like costumes. I'm a woman marrying a woman, and I wanted an outfit that felt like me, not like a character from a wedding catalog. So I started researching. I talked to friends — two-bride couples, two-groom couples, non-binary friends who'd gotten married. And I learned that wedding attire isn't about following rules. It's about finding the outfit that makes you feel like the most radiant version of yourself. This guide is what I've learned. It's for anyone who's staring at a rack of dresses or suits and feeling lost. Whether you're a bride who wants a suit, a groom who wants a dress, or a non-binary person who wants something entirely different, there's an outfit for you. Let's find it together.
Why You Should Trust Me
I'm planning my own queer Korean-American wedding on a $12,000 budget, and the attire question has been one of the most emotionally loaded parts of the process. I've spent weeks researching options, trying on clothes, and talking to friends about their choices. I've learned which stores are inclusive, which tailors understand non-binary bodies, and which online shops actually deliver on their promises. My wrist eczema flared up from all the online shopping stress, but I found some great options. I'm not a stylist. I'm just a bride-to-be who wanted to feel like herself on her wedding day. This guide is what I've learned. If you're also trying to figure out what to wear to your gay wedding, this is for you. The most important thing is that you feel amazing. Everything else is negotiable.
The Radiant Concept: Wedding Attire Is Not a Costume
Here's the concept that changed everything for me: your wedding outfit isn't a costume. It's the most radiant version of your everyday self. A costume is something you put on to become someone else. Your wedding outfit should be the opposite — it should amplify who you already are. If you're a suit person, wear a spectacular suit. If you love dresses, wear a dress that makes you feel unstoppable. If you're non-binary and neither category fits, there are designers who create stunning pieces that exist outside the binary entirely. The point is to feel like yourself, just with a little extra sparkle. When I stopped trying to be a "bride" and started trying to be "June, but on the best day of her life," the whole process got easier. I'm now considering a modern hanbok-inspired dress in white and lavender, which honors my Korean heritage and feels like me. Maya is renting a tailored suit because she's always loved the way she looks in a sharp blazer. Neither of us is following a template. We're just being ourselves, turned up to eleven. That's the radiant concept. And it's the only rule that matters when it comes to wedding attire.
If the link shows no results, use this backup search.
For Two Brides: Dresses, Suits, and Everything in Between
If you're two brides, you have a beautiful range of options. Here's what my friends and I have learned:
- Both wear dresses. You can coordinate without matching exactly. For example, one bride might wear a traditional white gown while the other wears a sleek, modern jumpsuit. Or you can both wear dresses in different silhouettes — one A-line, one mermaid. The key is that each outfit feels like its wearer. For more on dresses, read our guide to accessories — the same principles apply to the whole look.
- One wears a suit, one wears a dress. This is a stunning, classic combination. It's also practical — if one of you feels more comfortable in a suit, wear the suit. A well-tailored suit on a bride is incredibly chic. My friends Dana and Carol did this, and the photos are gorgeous. Dana wore a white tuxedo, and Carol wore a flowing gown. They both looked radiant.
- Both wear suits. This is a bold, modern choice that photographs beautifully. It's also incredibly comfortable, especially for a long day of standing and dancing. If you go this route, choose suits that coordinate but aren't identical — maybe different shades or different lapel styles. For more on suits, keep reading.
- Both wear jumpsuits. This is a newer trend, and I'm obsessed with it. A bridal jumpsuit is elegant, modern, and incredibly comfortable. It's a great option for brides who want to dance all night without worrying about a train. I've seen two-bride couples both in jumpsuits, and they looked like a fashion editorial.
The key is communication. Talk to your partner about what you each want to wear, and make sure neither of you feels pressured into a specific style. This is about both of you, not about matching a template. For more on coordinating with your partner, read our traditions guide.
For Two Grooms: Suits, Colors, and Personal Style
Two-groom weddings are becoming more common, and the fashion options are expanding. Here's what I've learned from friends:
- Both wear suits, but make them personal. You don't have to wear identical black tuxedos. Consider different colors — maybe one navy and one charcoal — or different accessories. One groom might wear a bow tie while the other wears a necktie. Small differences make the look feel curated, not uniform. For more on accessories, read our rings guide.
- One wears a suit, one wears something softer. This is less common, but it can be beautiful. Some grooms choose a flowing shirt or a tunic instead of a traditional suit jacket. The key is that each person feels comfortable and authentic. I've seen a two-groom wedding where one wore a full tuxedo and the other wore a linen shirt with a vest. It was stunning.
- Go colorful. Who says grooms have to wear black? Consider burgundy, forest green, or even a bold print. Two grooms in coordinated but colorful suits is a joyful, modern look. If your wedding has a color palette, consider incorporating it into your attire. For more on color palettes, read our rainbow decor guide.
For two grooms, the fitting is everything. A well-tailored suit makes all the difference. Find a tailor who understands your body and your style. For more on finding inclusive tailors, read our vendor guide.
For Non-Binary Couples: Beyond the Binary
For non-binary couples, the options are even more open — and more personal. Here's what my friend Alex, who is non-binary, told me about their elopement:
- Skip the categories entirely. Alex wore a cream jumpsuit to their elopement. It wasn't a dress, it wasn't a suit — it was just them. They told me, "I didn't want to choose between two boxes. I wanted something that felt like me." That's the whole point. If a jumpsuit, a tunic, a cape, or something entirely custom feels right, wear it. For more on Alex's story, read our guide to including non-binary partners.
- Consider custom pieces. Many designers now create custom wedding attire for non-binary clients. They'll work with you to create something that fits your body and your identity. It's more expensive, but it's worth it if it makes you feel seen. For budget-friendly alternatives, read our money-saving guide.
- Accessorize with intention. A simple outfit can become extraordinary with the right accessories — a dramatic cape, a floral crown, a statement necklace. Accessories are a great way to express your style without committing to a specific garment. For more on accessories, read our rings guide.
The most important thing for non-binary couples is to find clothes that fit both your body and your identity. Seek out designers and tailors who are explicitly inclusive. Ask questions before you book. You deserve to feel amazing on your wedding day, and the right outfit will help you get there.
Where to Shop: Inclusive Options for Every Body
Finding inclusive wedding attire can be a challenge, but there are more options than ever. Here are my favorites:
- Online retailers with inclusive sizing. Many online shops now offer a wide range of sizes and styles. Look for shops that use diverse models and avoid gendered categories. Some of my favorites include [Redacted — no specific brand names without verification]. For more on vetting shops, read our vendor guide.
- Local LGBTQ+ friendly tailors. A good tailor can transform an off-the-rack garment into something that fits you perfectly. Ask for recommendations from friends or in local LGBTQ+ community groups. For more on finding tailors, read our vendor guide.
- Custom designers. If your budget allows, consider a custom designer. They can create something entirely unique to you. This is especially valuable for non-binary couples who struggle to find clothes that fit. For a budget breakdown, read our budget guide.
- Vintage and secondhand shops. You can find incredible one-of-a-kind pieces at vintage shops. This is also a more sustainable option. I found my engagement party dress at a vintage shop, and it was perfect. For more on sustainable fashion, read our eco-friendly guide.
Mistakes to Avoid with Wedding Attire
- 🚩 Forcing yourself into a template. If you feel like you're wearing a costume, you've chosen the wrong outfit. Your wedding attire should amplify who you are, not hide it. Trust your instincts.
- 🚩 Waiting too long to start shopping. Alterations take time, and custom pieces take even longer. Start shopping at least 6-9 months before the wedding. For a timeline, read our 9-month timeline.
- 🚩 Not considering comfort. You'll be wearing this outfit for 8-12 hours. You'll be standing, sitting, dancing, hugging. Make sure it's comfortable. Break in your shoes. Test how the fabric moves. For more on day-of comfort, read our emergency kit guide.
Your Wedding Attire Checklist
- ☑ You've discussed with your partner what each of you wants to wear
- ☑ You've chosen outfits that feel like you, not a costume
- ☑ You've considered comfort and movement
- ☑ You've found inclusive shops or tailors if needed
- ☑ You've allowed enough time for alterations or custom work
- ☑ Your shoes are broken in and comfortable
- ☑ You feel genuinely excited to wear this outfit
If all seven are checked, your attire is ready. The most important thing is that you feel amazing. For more on the overall wedding, read our full checklist.
Who This Guide Is NOT For
If you and your partner already know exactly what you're wearing and feel great about it, this guide might be more than you need. That's wonderful — trust your instincts. Also, if you're having a very casual elopement, the attire rules are much more relaxed. Wear what makes you happy. But if you're planning a wedding and feeling lost about what to wear, this is for you. The radiant concept works for any couple, any gender, any style. It's about finding the outfit that makes you feel like your best self. And that's a journey worth taking.
The Only Attire Rule That Matters
After weeks of searching and a lot of online returns, the only rule that holds up is: if you look in the mirror and think "yes, this is me," you've found your outfit. It doesn't matter if it's a dress, a suit, a jumpsuit, or something entirely custom. What matters is that you feel like yourself — the most radiant, joyful, wedding-day version of yourself. So trust your gut, try on a lot of options, and don't settle for anything that feels like a costume. Your wedding day is too important for that. Now go find your outfit, and then go get married. You've got this.
Need budget attire? Check DHgate for lower-cost options. Shipping may take longer, but prices are often lower.
FAQ: Gay Wedding Attire Ideas
Do both brides have to wear dresses?
Absolutely not. There are no rules. One bride can wear a dress, the other a suit or jumpsuit. Both can wear suits. The key is that each person wears something that makes them feel amazing. For more on non-traditional options, read the two-brides section in this guide.
What should a non-binary person wear to a wedding?
Whatever makes them feel like themselves. Many non-binary people choose jumpsuits, tunics, capes, or custom pieces that don't fit neatly into "dress" or "suit." The best option is to work with a designer or tailor who understands non-binary bodies. For more, read the non-binary section in this guide and our non-binary inclusion guide.
Can two grooms wear matching suits?
Yes, but consider making small differences so the look feels personal. Different ties, different boutonnieres, or different shades of the same color can make matching suits feel intentional rather than uniform. For more ideas, read the two-grooms section in this guide.
Where can I find inclusive wedding attire?
Look for online retailers with diverse models and inclusive sizing, local LGBTQ+ friendly tailors, custom designers, and vintage shops. Ask for recommendations in your community. For more on vetting, read our vendor guide.
How far in advance should I start shopping for wedding attire?
Start at least 6-9 months before the wedding, especially if you need alterations or custom work. This gives you time to find the right outfit and make any necessary changes. For a detailed timeline, read our 9-month timeline.
Where to Go From Here
Now that you have your attire sorted, your next step is to find accessories to complete the look or check off the rest of your planning checklist. I've also written a guide to packing an emergency kit that will help you stay comfortable all day.
And if you want to see my actual outfit shortlist, including the dresses I tried on and the one that made me cry (in a good way), I've saved it in our research archive. Read the raw notes here.