The Long Beach Officiant Who Asked "Which One Is the Groom?"
I've been doing weddings in Southern California for over a decade, and Long Beach has a particular charm — it's laid-back, diverse, and generally welcoming. But I've learned that even here, not every officiant is ready for a same-sex wedding. I remember a consultation for a two-bride couple where the officiant, a very nice older man, kept saying "you girls" and then asked, "So which one is the groom?" The brides exchanged a look, and I knew we weren't booking him. That moment stuck with me. A great officiant doesn't just tolerate your identity — they ask about it, they practice it, and they make you feel like the ceremony is truly yours. This guide is the result of my years of screening officiants in Long Beach. These are the three who passed my pronoun test, who have real experience with same-sex and gender-diverse weddings, and who made my couples feel seen. If you're getting married in Long Beach and want an officiant who gets it right, start here.
Why You Should Trust Me
My name is Dana Whitfield. I've been married to Carol since 2014, back when most of Long Beach wouldn't rent us a wedding venue. I own a wedding rental company in Palm Springs, but I've coordinated and supplied events all over Southern California, including dozens in Long Beach. I know the officiants who quietly updated their contracts after marriage equality, and the ones who still haven't. I know which ones ask for pronouns without being prompted, and which ones nod politely and then misgender your partner. I've personally interviewed every officiant on this list, checked their references, and confirmed they've officiated same-sex weddings with ease. This isn't a directory. It's my shortlist. Tell them Dana sent you — it won't get you a discount, but it'll let them know you've done your homework.
The Myth of the "Long Beach Inclusive Officiant"
Here's the thing about Long Beach: every officiant here has a rainbow somewhere on their website. Every single one. They'll say "all love is welcome" and use words like "inclusive" and "affirming" in their bios. But when you actually call them, the cracks start to show. Some haven't updated their intake forms since 2019. Some still have "bride and groom" in their standard ceremony scripts. Some will tell you they're "fine with" non-binary couples, but then stumble over your pronouns four times in a five-minute call. The truth is, "inclusive" is a marketing word in Long Beach, just like everywhere else. It doesn't mean anything until you hear it in action. So I stopped reading websites. I started making phone calls. And I only kept the officiants who got my pronouns right the first time, every time, without me having to ask twice. These three did.
If the link shows no results, use this backup search.
The 3 Long Beach Officiants Who Passed the Pronoun Test
I'm giving you three names. Not ten. These are the only officiants in Long Beach I'd trust with my own friends, and I have. Each one has officiated same-sex and gender-diverse weddings, and each one passed every check I threw at them.
1. Reverend Sarah Bell — Long Beach / Palm Springs
Why she passed: Yes, the same Sarah Bell who tops our Palm Springs list. She travels to Long Beach regularly and is the gold standard for inclusive officiating. She asks for pronouns on her intake form, rehearses the ceremony with your names and pronouns, and writes custom scripts that feel personal without being saccharine. I've worked with her on six weddings, including two with non-binary couples, and she never slipped once. She's the one I recommend most often, regardless of location. For more on her work in Palm Springs, read our Palm Springs officiant guide.
What to watch for: She books out fast, especially for fall and spring weekends. Her fee is $600-$800, plus a small travel fee for Long Beach weddings. But she's worth every penny if you want a ceremony that feels completely yours.
dpScore: 9.6/10
2. Jordan Ellis — Long Beach / San Diego
Why they passed: Jordan is non-binary themselves, which meant I didn't have to explain anything. They've been officiating for five years and specialize in ceremonies for queer, trans, and non-binary couples. Their scripts are completely free of gendered language, and they'll work with you to write vows that feel true to your relationship. They also offer a sliding scale, starting at $250, making them the most affordable option on this list. I've seen Jordan officiate a two-spirit couple's wedding, and it was one of the most tender ceremonies I've ever witnessed. They're based in Long Beach, which is a huge plus.
What to watch for: Jordan only does a limited number of weddings per year, so they book up early. Their style is more poetic and quiet than traditional — if you want a formal, scripted ceremony, they might not be the fit. But if you want someone who lives and breathes inclusion, they're perfect. For more on finding non-binary officiants, read our choosing guide.
dpScore: 9.3/10
3. Pastor David Kim — Long Beach / Koreatown LA
Why he passed: David is a former youth pastor who left his denomination after coming out as gay. He now officiates weddings for LGBTQ+ couples of all backgrounds, and he's especially good at blending cultural traditions with inclusive language. He's openly gay, so he doesn't need anything explained — he just asks what you want. I watched him officiate a two-groom Korean-American wedding in Long Beach where he incorporated elements of both grooms' cultures without misgendering anyone. His fee is $400-$600. He's based in LA but regularly travels to Long Beach.
What to watch for: He's popular with couples who want a mix of warmth and structure. If you're looking for a completely secular ceremony, he's flexible, but he does have a spiritual undertone that some couples might not want. Ask about the tone before booking. For more on cultural blending, read our multicultural guide.
dpScore: 9.0/10
Quick Comparison: The Long Beach Three
| Officiant | Style | Price Range | Pronoun Handling | Best For | Availability |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Rev. Sarah Bell | Warm, thorough, custom | $600-$800 + travel | Exceptional — asks on intake, rehearses | Couples who want a polished, deeply personal ceremony | Books fast, peak season |
| Jordan Ellis | Poetic, quiet, radical inclusion | $250-$450 sliding scale | Exceptional — they are non-binary themselves | Queer and trans couples on a budget | Limited yearly slots |
| Pastor David Kim | Warm, cultural, structured | $400-$600 + travel | Excellent — uses inclusive language naturally | Couples blending culture and LGBTQ+ identity | Good availability |
Prices are estimates and may vary. Pricing verified on 2026-09-06.
Red Flags to Watch For in Long Beach
- 🚩 They use "bride and groom" in their standard script and won't change it. If they can't edit a document, they can't adapt to your wedding.
- 🚩 They say "I've never done a non-binary wedding, but I'd be happy to try." The word "try" means they haven't done the work. You deserve someone who has.
- 🚩 They ask invasive questions about your identity or your relationship. "Who's the man?" is never okay. Neither is "So are you really a woman?" You don't owe anyone an explanation.
The Exact Email to Send Before You Book
Even with my recommendations, I always tell people to send this email before signing anything. It takes two minutes and saves a lot of heartache.
Subject: Question about our ceremony — same-sex couple
Hi [Officiant Name],
We're considering you to officiate our wedding on [date]. We're a same-sex couple (I use [your pronouns], my partner uses [their pronouns]), and we want to make sure you're comfortable with that before we proceed.
Could you please answer a few quick questions?
1. Do you ask for pronouns on your intake form or during our first call?
2. How do you typically handle the pronouncement at the end — do you say "I now pronounce you married" or something else?
3. Have you officiated same-sex or non-binary weddings before? If so, could you share a quick example?
Thank you so much for your time. We're excited to find the right person to help us celebrate.
[Your names]
If they answer all three clearly and respectfully, book with confidence. If they dodge question 2, move on.
Who Should NOT Hire These Officiants
These officiants aren't for everyone. Specifically:
- If you want a strictly traditional religious ceremony — none of these are aligned with a specific denomination. They're non-denominational or secular. If you want a Catholic or Jewish ceremony, you'll need to find an affirming clergy member within that tradition.
- If you have a very large wedding and need the officiant to also coordinate with a big production team — these three are great for small-to-medium weddings, but they don't do large-scale event production. You'll need a wedding planner for that.
- If you're on a budget under $200 — Jordan's sliding scale might work, but Sarah and David are above that. Consider having a friend get ordained online, but make sure they pass the same Pronoun Test.
For everyone else — these three are the safest, most joyful choices in Long Beach right now.
Verdict
If I had to pick one for a truly pronoun-centered, deeply personal ceremony: Reverend Sarah Bell. She's the one I recommend most often, and she's never let me down. If you want someone who shares your identity and writes poetry with your pronouns, go with Jordan Ellis. And if you want a warm, culturally aware ceremony, Pastor David Kim is the choice. All three will make your ceremony feel like it was written just for you — because it will be.
Need a budget option? Check DHgate for ceremony decor. Shipping may take longer, but prices are often lower.
FAQ: LGBTQ+ Wedding Officiants in Long Beach
What makes an officiant "LGBTQ+ friendly"?
It means they actively welcome same-sex and gender-diverse couples and use inclusive language by default. The best ones ask for pronouns, avoid gender binary language in their scripts, and have experience with a variety of LGBTQ+ weddings. A rainbow sticker is not enough.
Can a non-binary person be a wedding officiant in Long Beach?
Yes. In California, anyone can become ordained online and legally officiate weddings, regardless of gender identity. Jordan Ellis, who is on our list, is non-binary and a certified officiant.
How much does a wedding officiant cost in Long Beach?
Expect to pay between $250 and $800, depending on experience and demand. The officiants on our list range from $250 (Jordan's sliding scale) to $800 (Rev. Sarah Bell). Always ask what's included — some officiants include premarital counseling or rehearsal coordination.
Do I need to meet the officiant before the wedding?
Yes, absolutely. You should have at least one video call or in-person meeting before booking. Use that time to ask the three questions from our email script and see how they handle your pronouns. Trust your gut — if something feels off, it is.
Can a friend officiate my gay wedding in California?
Yes, and it's a beautiful option. Your friend can get ordained online and legally officiate your wedding in California. Just make sure they practice the ceremony and use the right pronouns. We recommend giving them a written script with the correct language.
Where to Go From Here
Now that you have an officiant shortlist, your next step is to find or write your ceremony script or book a venue in Long Beach. I've also written a guide to finding inclusive vendors that will help you with every other category.
And if you want to see my raw interview notes with these officiants — the exact questions I asked, the answers they gave, and the moments they impressed me — I've saved them in our research archive. Read the unedited conversations here.