The Invitation Template That Broke My Heart a Little

When Robin and I started looking at wedding invitation templates, I opened a beautiful one from a popular wedding website. The design was perfect — minimalist, botanical, exactly our style. Then I read the first line: "Together with their families, [Bride] and [Groom] request the honor of your presence." I stared at it. I refreshed the page. I even checked if there was a second template option. There wasn't. Just Bride and Groom, like two labels waiting to be filled. I closed the laptop and sat with that familiar ache — the one where the world keeps handing you a script that doesn't include you. I'm non-binary. Robin is a woman. Neither of us is a groom. And our wedding invitation, the first thing our guests would see, was already misgendering us before they even opened the envelope. So I stopped using templates. I wrote my own wording, and then I rewrote it seven times until it felt like us. This guide is what I learned. It's for couples who want their invitations to say, from the very first word, that this wedding is for everyone — especially the people getting married. Because your invitation is not just a piece of paper. It's the first statement you make about your relationship. Make it one you're proud of.

Why You Should Trust Me

I'm Alex Rivera. My pronouns are they/them. I eloped in the desert in spring 2026 with my partner Robin, and I spent weeks perfecting our wedding wording so that no guest, no family member, and no vendor would ever have to ask "which one is the bride?" I'm not a stationery designer. I'm not a professional writer. I'm just a person who wanted to send an invitation that reflected who we actually are, not who the wedding industry thinks we should be. I tested dozens of templates, rewrote our invitation four times, and learned the exact phrases that work — and the ones that don't. I've also helped friends and readers adapt their own wording for two-bride, two-groom, and non-binary weddings. This guide is the result. It's practical, it's specific, and it's written from the middle of the experience, not from above it. If you're tired of crossing out "bride" and "groom" on a template, you're in the right place.

The First Statement: Invitations as a Declaration of Inclusion

Here's a concept I came up with during my own invitation rewrite, and I haven't seen it articulated anywhere else: your wedding invitation is your first inclusivity statement. Before guests hear your ceremony, before they taste your cake, before they even arrive, they read your invitation. And in that reading, they learn something about what kind of wedding this will be. If it says "bride and groom," they learn that this is a traditional, binary wedding. If it says "Together with their families, Alex and Robin invite you," they learn something entirely different: that this wedding was built for two people, no labels required. That first sentence sets the tone for everything. It tells your non-binary friends they're welcome. It tells your queer family members they won't have to explain themselves. It tells everyone that this celebration is not a performance of gender — it's a gathering of people who love you. So when you write your invitation, don't just fill in the blanks. Write it like a declaration. Because that's what it is.

Four Inclusive Invitation Templates You Can Use Today

Below are four fully written invitation templates, each designed for a different kind of couple. Change the names, dates, and details, and make them yours. The point is that none of them assume a gender.

Template A: The Simple, Warm Invitation (Works for Any Couple)

This one uses just names and neutral language. It's the one Robin and I used, slightly adapted.

Template B: The Elegant, Formal Invitation

For couples who want a more traditional tone, but still without gendered language.

Template C: The Playful, Casual Invitation

For couples who want something less formal and a little more fun.

Template D: The Non-Binary Specific Invitation

This one explicitly uses they/them pronouns for one or both partners, so no one has to guess.

If you want even more wording options, including save-the-dates and programs, check out our LGBTQ+ wedding terminology guide.

Phrases to Use (and Phrases to Avoid)

Here's a quick reference for the most common invitation phrases, swapped for inclusive alternatives.

• ❌ "Bride and Groom" → ✅ "The Couple," "The Newlyweds," or just your names
• ❌ "Mr. and Mrs." → ✅ Your full names, no titles
• ❌ "Bridal party" / "Groomsmen" → ✅ "Wedding party" or "Attendants"
• ❌ "Father of the bride" → ✅ "Parents of the couple" or "Escort"
• ❌ "Man and wife" → ✅ "Married" or "United in partnership"
• ❌ "Give away" → ✅ "Present" or "Accompany"

The rule is simple: if a phrase assumes a gender, find a neutral alternative. It's usually just as elegant, and it makes your invitation work for everyone.

3 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Inclusive Invitations

• 🚩 Using a template with hardcoded "bride and groom" that you can't edit. If you can't change it, don't use it. There are plenty of platforms and designers who offer fully customizable options.
• 🚩 Forgetting to include pronouns if you or your partner use they/them. It's a small line, but it saves so much awkwardness. Your guests will appreciate it.
• 🚩 Using "Mr. and Mrs." for your parents when one of them is non-binary or uses a different title. Ask your family how they want to be listed. It's their name on the invitation too.

FAQ: Gender Inclusive Wedding Invitation Wording

The Only Invitation Rule That Matters

After rewriting our invitation four times, the only rule that holds up is: if the first line doesn't make you feel seen, rewrite it. Your invitation is the first thing your guests will hold in their hands. It should feel like you, not like a template with your name taped on. So take the time to get it right. It's worth it. Because the people you love will read that first line and know, before they even arrive, that this wedding was built for you — exactly as you are.