Okay So Here's Where I Messed Up
I'm June. My wedding to Maya is in spring 2027, and last month I almost ordered 50 personalized shot glasses that said "June & Maya, 2027" on them. They were cute, they were cheap, and they were a mistake. Because here's the thing nobody tells you: most wedding favors end up in a drawer, a trash can, or the back seat of someone's car. I know this because I've been that guest. I've received tiny soaps, mini candles, and little bags of Jordan almonds, and I couldn't tell you where any of them are now. So when it came time to choose our own favors, I made a rule: if I wouldn't be excited to receive it at someone else's wedding, it doesn't go on the list. That rule changed everything. I spent the next three weeks testing, returning, and actually using a bunch of potential favors — some of them are now in my kitchen, some are in my bathroom, and one is currently sitting on my desk holding my pens. This guide is the result. These are the favors our guests will actually keep, use, and remember. Not because they're expensive, but because they're genuinely good. And because they don't scream "wedding favor" — they just scream "thoughtful."
Why You Should Trust Me
I'm planning my own queer Korean-American wedding in Los Angeles on a $12,000 budget, which means I've become an expert at finding things that are both meaningful and affordable. For the favors, I tested over a dozen different options. I ordered samples, I used them myself, and I asked Maya to rate each one on a scale of "would you actually keep this if you got it at a wedding?" Half of them failed. A few of them were so bad I laughed. And three of them were so good that I've already bought extras for our own apartment. My wrist eczema flared up twice during this process, because apparently even gift shopping stresses me out. But I found the good ones. And I'm giving them to you, so you don't have to waste your money on 50 shot glasses that will end up in a landfill. I'm not a professional gift-giver. I'm not a stylist. I'm just a bride-to-be who wants the people at her wedding to leave with something they'll actually use. That's the bar. And these three favors cleared it.
The Myth of the Memorable Wedding Favor
Here's the truth that most wedding blogs won't tell you: the average wedding favor is forgotten within a week. Because most favors are chosen for how they look on a table, not for how they'll fit into someone's actual life. The personalized shot glass is cute, but nobody needs another shot glass. The mini candle is lovely, but it'll get buried in a drawer. The Jordan almonds are traditional, but half your guests won't even eat them. So I stopped thinking about what looks good in photos and started thinking about what people actually use every day. That's the shift that changed everything. A good favor is either practical (a nice pen, a good lip balm, a useful tote bag) or deeply personal (a handwritten note, a small piece of art, a custom snack). If it's both, even better. The favors below are the ones that passed my test. They're useful, they're beautiful, and they don't scream "wedding favor." They just scream "thoughtful." And that's exactly what I want our guests to feel.
If the link shows no results, use this backup search.
The 3 Favors That Actually Passed
I tested over a dozen options. These three survived. They're in order from the one I'd buy first to the one I'd choose if I had extra budget.
1. Mini Succulent Plants in Small Pots
Why it passed: A tiny succulent in a small ceramic pot is a favor that actually lives. People put it on their desk, their windowsill, their kitchen counter. It's a living reminder of your wedding that doesn't get thrown away. We're doing these for our guests, and I've already tested a few in our apartment — they're still alive, which is more than I can say for most of my houseplants. The key is to choose a variety that's easy to care for, like echeveria or haworthia. You can even paint the pots in your wedding colors or add a small tag with your names.
What to watch for: Shipping live plants can be tricky, especially in hot weather. Order early and keep them in a cool place. Also, some guests won't be plant people, so consider having a few non-plant options on hand. But for most people, a little succulent is a genuinely lovely gift.
dpScore: 9.0/10
2. Custom Soy Candles with a Non-Floral Scent
Why it passed: Okay, I know I said candles end up in drawers, but hear me out. The problem with most wedding candles is that they're overly floral and smell like a grandmother's bathroom. The key is to choose a scent that people actually want in their homes — something woody, citrusy, or clean. And instead of putting your names all over the label, keep it minimal: a small, elegant label with just your initials and the date. We found a seller on Etsy who does custom soy candles in scents like "cedar + sea salt" and "lemongrass + sage." They're beautiful, they burn clean, and they don't smell like a wedding. I've already lit one in our living room, and Maya asked where we got it. That's a win.
What to watch for: Custom candles can take 2-3 weeks to ship, so order early. And make sure the scent is subtle — you don't want to trigger anyone's allergies. Also, be prepared for the fact that some guests will still put them in a drawer. But at least they'll smell nice when they find them again.
dpScore: 8.7/10
3. Reusable Canvas Tote Bags with a Simple Design
Why it passed: This is the most practical favor on the list, and it's also the one I use most often myself. A sturdy canvas tote bag is something people actually use — for groceries, for the gym, for carrying books. And if the design is simple and not too "wedding-y," they'll use it for years. We found a seller who makes organic cotton totes with a small rainbow stripe on the handle and our initials in the corner. It's subtle, it's useful, and it doesn't scream "June and Maya's wedding." I've already started using one of the samples, and it's holding up beautifully.
What to watch for: Quality varies a lot. Make sure you order a sample first and check the stitching. Also, keep the design minimal — the more it looks like a wedding favor, the less likely people are to use it. And if you have a small guest list, this is a great choice because you can afford to splurge on nicer totes.
dpScore: 8.9/10
Quick Comparison: The 3 Favors That Made the Cut
| Favor | Practicality | Cost per Guest | Personalization | Likelihood of Being Kept | Best For |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mini Succulent | High — lives on a desk | $3-$6 | Medium — pot decoration | Very high | Guests who love plants |
| Custom Soy Candle | Medium — useful but optional | $4-$8 | High — custom scent and label | High (if scent is good) | Guests who enjoy home fragrance |
| Canvas Tote Bag | Very high — used daily | $5-$10 | Low — subtle design | Very high | Everyone, especially practical guests |
Prices are estimates and vary by seller. Pricing verified on 2026-09-06.
3 Wedding Favor Mistakes to Avoid
- 🚩 Putting your names and date in huge letters. The moment a favor looks like a wedding favor, it's doomed. Keep personalization subtle. Your guests know whose wedding they attended; they don't need a billboard.
- 🚩 Choosing something you wouldn't use yourself. If you wouldn't be excited to receive it, don't give it. It's that simple. I almost bought the shot glasses, and I don't even drink shots. That's the trap.
- 🚩 Forgetting to order extras. Always order 10-15% more than your guest count. Some will break, some will get lost, and some will be claimed by people who weren't even there. Trust me.
The Exact Email to Send Before Ordering Custom Favors
If you're ordering custom favors, especially from Etsy, send this email to the seller before you place your order. It saves a lot of back-and-forth.
Subject: Question about custom wedding favors
Hi [Seller Name],
We're interested in ordering [product name] for our wedding in [month]. We're a same-sex couple, and we'd love the personalization to be simple and inclusive — just our initials and date, no gendered language.
Could you please let me know:
1. Can we see a mockup before you produce the full order?
2. What's the current production and shipping timeline?
3. Can you accommodate a small order of [number] pieces, or is there a minimum?
Thank you so much! We're excited to work with you.
[Your names]
This email sets clear expectations and helps you avoid surprises. If a seller balks at the "no gendered language" part, find another seller. There are plenty who will get it right.
Who Should NOT Buy These Favors
If you're eloping with no guests, you don't need favors at all. Save your money for a nice dinner. Also, if you have a huge guest list and a very tight budget, spending $3-$6 per person might not be feasible — you could do a simple edible favor instead, like a small bag of coffee beans or a cookie. But if you have 50 or fewer guests and you want them to leave with something they'll actually remember, these three are worth the investment. And if you're having a destination wedding, consider the weight and size of the favor — succulents might be hard to travel with, while candles and totes are easier.
My Honest Verdict
The single best wedding favor you can give is the mini succulent. It's alive, it's beautiful, and it actually stays with people. If you want something that feels more personal and smell-based, the custom candle is lovely. And if you want maximum practicality, the tote bag is unbeatable. My advice? Do a mix if your budget allows — a few succulents, a few candles, and maybe a tote or two for your closest people. But whatever you choose, make sure it passes the "would I keep this?" test. If it passes, your guests will keep it too.
Need budget options? Check DHgate for lower-cost favors. Shipping may take longer, but prices are often lower.
FAQ: Gay Wedding Favors
Do I really need wedding favors?
No, you don't. Wedding favors are optional. If your budget is tight or you just don't feel excited about them, skip them. Your guests won't mind. But if you do give favors, make sure they're things people will actually use. Otherwise, you're just buying stuff that will end up in a landfill.
How much should I spend per favor?
Most couples spend between $2 and $10 per guest. The key is not the price — it's the usefulness. A $2 useful favor is better than a $10 useless one. Our picks range from $3 to $10, and they're all things people will actually keep.
Can I do a DIY favor instead of buying?
Absolutely. DIY favors can be even more meaningful, especially if they're something you made together. Some ideas: small jars of homemade jam, sachets of dried lavender, or handwritten notes tied to a small treat. Just make sure you have time to make them — don't start a DIY project the week before your wedding.
What about edible favors?
Edible favors are great because they get consumed and don't clutter anyone's home. Small bags of coffee, cookies, or local honey are all lovely. The only downside is that they don't last as a keepsake, but many guests prefer that. If you go edible, make sure to label any allergens.
How do I personalize favors without making them too "wedding-y"?
Keep it subtle. Instead of "June & Maya, 2027" in giant letters, use just your initials, a small date, or a tiny rainbow accent. The favor should look like something the guest would buy for themselves. If it looks like a wedding favor, it'll be treated like one.
Where to Go From Here
Now that you have your favors sorted, your next step is to find a cake topper that matches your style or make sure everything fits your budget. I've also written a guide to elegant rainbow decor if you want the rest of the table to feel cohesive.
And if you want to see my full list of favors I tested and rejected — including the shot glasses and a truly terrifying jar of homemade pickles — I've saved it in our research archive. Read the raw notes here.